*When you want to marry*
by Mahatma Das
One ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. In other words, choosing the right partner can save you from pounds of cure having to go into your marriage. Always be aware that maya may choose someone for you, exactly the wrong person.
The point to understand is:
Just because you like the way a person looks, walks and talks, doesn’t mean you should marry them. Just because you feel good around the person doesn’t mean you they are the right person for you.
And even though he or she is a “good devotee,” it doesn’t necessarily mean you will get along well.
Choosing a spouse needs to be done dispassionately, not passionately. Choosing a life-long partner requires many things other than chemistry. It is best to have a list of the qualities and nature of a person that you believe would make an ideal partner so in the event that you start becoming attracted to someone, you will be more able to objectively determine if this is the right person for you. Statistics tell us that arranged marriages (i.e. arranged with the right person) are not as happy as “love’ marriages in the beginning, but after five years couples in arranged marriages are much happier than those in a love marriage. Why? Because the relationship was based more on compatibility than physical attraction.
So do whatever you can to find the right person. Once you have found them, do pre-marital counseling to both confirm that you found the right person and that your are on the same page regarding your goals, values, and aspirations.
All this work is the “ounce of prevention” that can prevent a serious disease from destroying your marriage. It is a great accomplishment, and a great service to Srila Prabhupada, to stay happily married to one person throughout your life. Do everything before marriage to ensure this will happen.